Thursday, September 11, 2008

OPRAH DEFIES BOYCOTT: Reviewed By A Guy Who's Never Even Watched Oprah

The Florida Federation of Republican women plan on boycotting the Oprah Winfrey show for refusing to have Sarah Palin on her show until after the election. Already a pariah for supporting Obama over Hillary during the primaries, Oprah finds her female fan-base rapidly diminishing. Consequently, Oprah has plans to replace her core demographics with male viewers.

When asked how she intends to attract men to her afternoon show, the television Queen smiled demurely and said, “I have a couple of ideas that have been bouncing around. I asked myself what men want to see and I plopped a couple of those ideas on the table. One or two may fall out of favor with a handful of women, but I’m sure the men will continue to tune in. I think they’ll be pleased when they see the hefty set of issues I’ve got for them.”

When asked if he intended to start watching Oprah, one male remarked, “Well I have to say she made a couple of huge points with me. I never watched Oprah before, but given her unabashed support for Obama plus a very nice pair of humanitarian projects, I’m more than willing to give her a chance.”

Some women’s groups see Oprah as pandering to her male fan-base, which is ironic considering she is being boycotted for NOT pandering to them. However they point to Oprah’s association with a political action group called Barack Obama and Oprah Block Sarah (BOOBS) as the undermining force behind the ostracizing of Sarah Palin. But a BOOBS spokesman read from a prepared statement. “Oprah Winfrey overcame tremendous challenges to become one of the most successful women ever in the world of media. Her charitable projects are too numerous to list. To boycott her show for refusal to have Sarah Palin as a guest will ring as hollow as the boycott she endured for not having rappers on her show. Until Rush Limbaugh consents to have Ice Cube on to discuss his NWA days, we will consider Oprah’s refusal to be politically bullied something we can relate to.”

The BOOBS spokesman hoped that as a confident, liberated woman with a great sense of humor, the ultra-wealthy Ms. Winfrey wouldn't have him hunted down and killed like the others who have displeased the Queen. He added that Oprah is an icon, not only among women but all people. The fact that she has a nice pair of howitzers just makes her “all that and a bag of chips.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Looks like Oprah is getting ready to feed a third world village with those.