Writing copyright by "Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium"© 2024. You may not copy or otherwise reproduce any of this material without prior written permission. All rights reserved.

Evil Clown

           Burger Wars Heat Up-Ronald Gives Zero Fucks

Writing  by "Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium"© 2021. You may not copy or otherwise parody any of this material or the Clown will hunt you down and kill you. All rights reserved but the shake machine is still broken.

TURN IT OFF!

Writing copyright by "Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium"© 2020. You may not copy or otherwise reproduce any of this material without prior written permission. All rights reserved.

The Joker's Blues: The Insane Mime Gang's New Album Freaking Awesome!

The Joker's Blues: The Insane Mime Gang's New Album Freaking Awesome!

Writing copyright by "Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium"© 2011. You may not copy or otherwise reproduce any of this material without prior written permission. All rights reserved.

Godzilla: A Movie Review of the Reboot.

I’m going to tell you up right up front that I have been a Godzilla fan since the first time I laid eyes on The Man in The Rubber Suit. Will Rogers has absolutely nothing on me: I’ve never met a Godzilla I didn’t like. And in that vein, I have to confess I loved this Godzilla! I’m not saying this was a perfect movie. But, Godzilla has circled the cinematic world 32 times, making him a more prolific character than Dr. Who doing Die Hard movies. So give the guy a break.

Sure, I could wax poetic on the underlying themes of Godzilla as a metaphor for nuclear destruction, science run amok, environmental catastrophe and all that tripe, but that would distract from the awesome Monster Mash appeal at the surface of this reinvented, yet still Old School King of The Monsters flick. In my opinion Godzilla kicks ass…where according most to early reviews, the humans don’t. Aaron Taylor-Johnson of Kick-Ass reportedly fails to gracefully even put one foot in front of the other character-wise. The other characters led us not to give a tinker’s damn about them at all amid all the chaos. That is what I first read at least.

After watching the movie, I agree there may some truth in that notion, but I suspect it may have been by design. There was just too damned much two-dimensional character constraint for that to have been by accident. After a bit of hammering those hammy depictions home it bordered ever so slightly on the comical. Even satirical. But enough of the literary dissection. Who are the players?

The Players:

In the position of eccentric, post traumatic disorder conspiracy nut, Bryan Cranston. This man needs no introduction after Breaking Bad and he does a pretty damn good job as an engineer who goes nuts after losing his wife Juliette “Chocolat” Binoche in the opening scenes.

The only problem with Cranston’s character is there is too little of him later in the movie, and there is very little of Juliette at all, who also came off as a fully formed 3D person. Cue Aaron Taylor-Johnson (described by critics as Cranston’s wooden son channeling Pinocchio) taking the reins as lead character and allegedly driving it into the freaking ditch.

I disagree. Aside from a few awkward opening scenes between Aaron and his wife played by Elizabeth Olsen (soon to play his sister in an upcoming Avengers movie) Aaron’s performance was probably understated. As a man carried into the events of the story by chance, he did a fairly good job of not overworking his scenes. He’s a bomb disposal expert after all, cool and calm in the face of the possibility of instantaneous death. But that’s just technically explaining his demeanor away.
I actually liked his subdued depiction better than the Bruce Willis style histrionics. Plus, his close up with Godzilla was far superior to Broderick’s. It even had a bonding aspect.

His wife…his sister…his wife… played by Olsen was merely a plot place keeper, a personal reference, another person in peril. Their son (Carson Bolde) was serviceable in the role and how much do you really need to know about him in a Godzilla movie anyway? Olsen really wasn’t given much to do except look worried, but to her credit she did give good face.

Ken “The Last Samuri” Watanabe’s character amused me the most. His depiction as the monster expert clearly belonged in a Godzilla movie from the 60′s. His single minded spouting of catch phrases about the balance of nature was so melodramatic I had to check my calendar.
It was almost laugh out loud by the 50th time I watched him gaze off into the distance to deliver dialog dripping with ominous foreshadowing. That’s when it began to occur to me that this director was just jacking with me.

Sally “Blue Jasmine” Hawkins was the other scientist strategically inserted with Wannabe to make the points about electromagnetic pulses and restoring the balance of nature. Stereotypically as they were written, Sally managed to pump a bit of personality into her character. But as paper thin as her camera time was, burst capacity was kept at a minimum.

Last but not least playing the position of director is Gareth Edwards. Edwards is a relative new comer to the world of digital effects, previously known for 2008′s Heroes and Villains. That same year he won a London based 48 hour film challenge and went on to write and direct Monsters. Edwards personally created the special effects for Monsters using off the shelf equipment, two actors and a five man crew. The movie was made on such a small budget that the solid box office results got him noticed. Director Ed Wood would have been proud. Godzilla is his first major studio project.

Honorable mention goes to Thomas Tull, chairman and CEO of Legendary Pictures, most recently known for last year’s Pacific Rim. Tull had the difficult task of negotiating with Toho for the rights to produce another American made Godzilla and not screw it up like 1998’s ill-received version. Legendary will distribute the newly vamped Godzilla world-wide and collect the booty while Toho will distribute the film in Japan.

The Stars

Cue Godzilla. Godzilla? Not yet. How about an appetizer of MUTO while you wait? MUTOs (Massive Unidentifiable Terrestrial Organisms) are running all amok over San Francisco. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they’ve got larvae.

The stage is set for Godzilla to enter, stage left. But…not yet. The back story on the creatures was intricate and kept the story from stalling while we waited. Grotesque and destructive, the numerous military squirmishes with them was the bridge the audience had to cross to get to Godzilla.

While that might appear at times to be a long, slow slog, in hindsight it was a deliberate forced march through considerable mayhem, destruction and human peril. If the ensuing chaos following the Creature’s use of its EMP weapon isn’t enough to keep you amused, perhaps the Creature diving into the sea for its dinner is.

The Verdict

Godzilla movies generally are known for deep philosophies, human drama and cheesy monsters.
I think the director altered the balance of nature in this remake, making the humans 2D instead while the monsters are the three dimensional, fully fleshed out stars.

One issue I had with Godzilla is it’s a lot like “Waiting for Godot”. When’s that monster going to get here? Not for two-thirds of the film, at least in all of his glorious splendor. But believe me, it’s worth the wait. Not only does Godzilla prove his tactical prowess in self-defense and unarmed combat, he certainly knows a thing or two about urban renewal.

And I was pleased to see that this was no cake walk. If you make it this far into the film you will be rewarded by a fight scene of…monstrous proportions…and unparalleled special effects. The echoes of the distant battle match the visuals giving a sense of scale bordering on awesome. After all this is precisely why you go to a monster flick: to watch wholesale destruction on a massive scale minus The Avengers. Screw The Hulk’s damage ratio! Godzilla can clear sizable chunks of real estate and save the world, too. But that should be no surprise: he’s the undisputed King of Monsters.

If you are a Godzilla fan, you will enjoy this movie, even with the “Godzilla Strip Tease” in the middle. The movie played well to its fan base. Not a fan, no problem. Watch the set up, skip out for an hour then drop back in for the fight. I give the flick an A- as a fan, a B+ as a critic. And I’m hoping the sequel is a A+. I think Edwards can do it.

Writing copyright by "Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium"© 2014. You may not copy or otherwise reproduce any of this material without prior written permission. All rights reserved.

A Short Review of Kick-Ass 2

I didn't see "Kick-Ass 2."
And apparently neither did you.
It's virtually dead last,
but don't blame the cast.
ELYSIUM kicked it's ass, too.



Writing copyright by "Marshall Dunn Satire Emporium"© 2013. You may not copy or otherwise reproduce any of this material without prior written permission. All rights reserved.

Review: The Night They Raided Minskys

Released in 1968 this flick could have been made today as a relevant retrospective to burlesque.  The naughty nature of burlesque versus the rude routines that pass as suggestive stage entertainment today are in stark contrast when you compare today's crude crotch crunking with the clumsy bumps and grinds of yesteryear.  Produced by Norman Lear and directed by William Friedkin, it is based on a book by Rowland Barber which paints a fictional account of the invention of the striptease.

 This story opens in 1925 when a young Amish girl, Rachel (a very young Britt Ekland) arrives in New York City with misguided dreams of being a dancer. Of course her strict, overly religious father would have nothing to do with her dancing aspirations so she runs away from her home in Pennsylvania. For some strange reason she runs off to join the Minsky Burlesque show, obviously lacking a dictionary at home with which to look up the word "burlesque".  Watching the scene of her entering the burlesque theater, I couldn't help but hum The Eagles "Those Shoes" over the resident soundtrack.

When she arrives, she initially meets Professor Spats (a very old Bert Lahr), a retired stage performer. Try making that long walk through New York City today without meeting characters a lot shadier than this nice old man. He was certainly a lot less menacing than the Cowardly Lion was to Dorothy. Wearing her naivete on her homemade dress like a wino's projectile vomit from a subway ride, the kindly Professor agrees to introduce her to the cast. All this in spite of her desire to perform dances from the Bible on stage. Really?

Meanwhile, the theater owner Louis Minsky (Joseph "Dr. No" Wiseman) and his son, Billy (a very young Elliot Gould) are being hounded by a man named Fowler (Denholm Elliot), the Secretary for the Society for Decency, obviously a defunct office in modern times. Believe it or not, he actually thinks the costumes are too skimpy, the humor too suggestive and the dancing a little too dirty. This guy would die of heart failure and a terminal erection just watching a Super Bowl halftime show these days, but I digress. Receiving letters from the Secretary of Decency, Billy's dad Louis wisely refuses to renew his son's lease. But he will sell the theater to him for a tidy sum. Billy tries to get Trim, a small time gangster and burlesque lover, to invest  (a same-o-same-o looking Forrest Tucker) but he refuses. He's just there to enjoy the scenery.

Cue classic funnyman Chick Williams (Sir Norman Wisdom in an excellent vaudeville performance) and his "straight man" partner Raymond Paine (Jason Robards as a cad first class). When the Professor introduces the young runaway to the both of them, hilarity ensues, of course, but not before the foreshadowing of conflict. For Chick, it's love at first sight, whereas Raymond is less than impressed with all this Bible stuff. But, Britt IS hot, so he just might momentarily convert for a piece of the action? Not a chance. However, there's still that pending closure by the moral police looming over the show, so Raymond gets a bright idea: put the Bible thumping girl onstage at midnight to throw off the pending bust. So "Madam Fifi" is born and set up to discredit the pious jackass with the pad and pencil that's been haunting the show for several days. But the bighearted Chick is concerned that Rachael will be humiliated.

A bit of lunch then shopping for a fake snake for her "Garden of Eden" number is all the time it takes for Raymond to become smitten and completely take over the situation, setting the stage for a not so subtle seduction. After all, she IS just a Amish girl fresh off the farm, so it's not the hardcore New York challenge a player like him is accustomed to.So it's back to the hotel room. Fortunately Chick shows up in time with a fire hose instead of a seltzer bottle...a move he'll regret the next time he and Raymond are on stage together. But it ain't over yet. Trim the gangster shows up in the dressing room and reads Raymond the riot act: the doggone girl is mine. Like the glib talking hustler he is, Raymond fails to tell Chick when he gets back to the room and pretends to make up by promising to lay Rachael off the show.What a guy!

Of course Raymond breaks both promises and between shows gets Rachel back to his room. This time  they are interrupted by Rachel's angry Amish father (Harry Andrews) who has come to town to take her back home. Rachel refuses and he threatens to disown her if she's not on the 1AM train back home. The immoral Raymond now has a moral dilemma: the dance tonight is a sham, but Rachael thinks it's a career. We've all had jobs like that.

Raymond tells Rachel to take a nap before her performance and leaves her at his room. In a change of conscious, he tells Spats to get Rachel on that 1AM train. But Billy Minsky  knows he's going to need more than Bible stories to satisfy the frenzied crowd in the theater. In a way, it's reminiscent of La Toya Jackson's strip club appearances in the 80's without the benefit of boobs. They decide to dress another dancer in Rachael's French costume, who's not sure what the hell she is supposed to do with it. Adding to the chaos, Fowler and the police arrive to watch the show and to wait for the law to be broken.

That's when things start to go badly. Trim has come for his prize and taken Rachael, promising to have her back by show time. Chick and Raymond heroically go to Trims places to get her back and get their asses handed to them, plus change. After Trim brings her back in time for her midnight rendezvous wearing a fancy new evening gown, Bill comes clean to Trim and Rachael about the sham. And if that wasn't bad enough, her father shows up, calls her a whore and Rachael just snaps like a guitar string. Suddenly, there's her cue and she marches out on stage in the evening gown to the spectacle of hundreds of cheering men.

Yeah, she is at a loss about what to do but tries some of the bumping and grinding moves she's seen the other girls do and they love it. How could you not? It's Britt Ekland. A sympathetic drummer giving her rolls and shots to make the movements by and she quickly improvises a routine. Her father makes a grab for her from offstage and tears her dress along the leg and it's all up from there. The crowd goes wild, so Rachel tears the seam on the other side herself. Thus, the art of the striptease is invented, live at Minskys.

Feeding off the energy from the audience, Rachel unzips her dress and slides the straps off her shoulders so that it is only being held up by her hands. The men want more and the women with them are already appalled enough but it's too late to top the momentum. That's when she notices Raymond with a packed suitcase leaving, blaming himself for turning an innocent Amish farm girl into a stripper. In her distraction....she lets the top of the dress go and WHOOMP there it is! Or there THEY are rather. Whistles go off, police raid the stage and general mayhem ensues. And the striptease is now history as men line the outside of the police wagon cheering because burlesque will never be the same. And apparently neither will Rachael's father...

 My favorite quote from this flick is by Louis Minsky: "Bah! And again, Bah! There is no finger of righteousness. This is the finger of cleanliness. This is the finger of marital bliss. This is the finger of vengeance. This is the finger of meddling in other people's lives. This is the finger of transportation. You speak with the fist of authority, gentlemen, but you don't know your fingers."

The clumsy dances routines, physically imperfect women, bawdy humor and excellent depiction of vaudeville by Norman Wisdom makes this a superb motion picture in it's own right no matter what decade it was made. Add the excellent directing Friedkin (The Exorcist, The French Connection), surgical editing using old film footage and occasional unflattering scenes of real people to the mix and "The Night they Raided Minsky's" is a timeless depiction of an era long past. The sentimental icing on the cake is Bert Lahr is his last appearance on film. Though he'll always be known as The Cowardly Lion, this role was a fitting send off for a man who actually once worked in burlesque. But, don't believe me, see this film for yourself, because maybe I never even saw the flick...

Writing copyright by "Marshall Dunn AntiSocial Emporium"© 2013. You may not copy or otherwise reproduce any of this material without prior written permission. All rights reserved.